Hi! I've had the idea for this post in my head for quite a while, but I'm notably only writing it in the middle of the night right before what's gonna be the most stressful day I've had in possibly years. So, in my previous diary post, I talked about a computer issue I had that took several days and a new SSD to fix. A day before the issue started, construction work began on my home. The kitchen, a bathroom, and the wall to an entire room were completely removed, and remodeling began across the entire house. The process has been... grueling. Having construction workers over almost every day, hearing them bark orders at one another across the house, hearing loud music on their radio amidst the racket of drills, hammers, nails, woodcutters, and whatever else they've brought over... It's been a nightmare. I've had my earplugs in almost every day for weeks now, and I'm fortunate I've been able to spend all this time in my room with the door closed to reduce the noise. Yes, I did say weeks.

I've been hyperfixated on an indie game called Backpack Hero for a few weeks now and it's been carrying me through some lonely nights. From what I've seen, the game doesn't have much attention right now and some fans think the developer's abandoned it. I want to share my experience, played blind in June 2024. It's a simple premise, an inventory management roguelike where you explore randomly generated dungeons filled with enemies, finding loot and placing it in a tile grid in your backpack. Some items take more than one space, but you can rotate items to fit, like a puzzle. Items have different interactions with each other, giving buffs if placed at the bottom or top, or boosting block or damage near items of a certain type. You can buff your items with forges (once unlocked) and make a unique build that you use to go through increasingly challenging levels and boss fights. So, here's what I really enjoyed: The good 1. Atmosphere and charm It might not be everyone's cup of tea but I re

(Yes I stole this awesome title.) So!! You'll never guess what happened a few days ago. The SSD on my main computer started corrupting! It started with one of my partitions suddenly becoming read-only. When I popped up some utilities to check on my disk, they said my partition had an "invalid superblock" and "bad magic number." Naturally, I panicked. Pretty much immediately, I stopped using my main OS for fear of further damage to my stuff, then ordered a new SSD (NVMe!) on Amazon. The wait, spent chilling to youtube on a garuda linux live usb and checking for the package every fifteen minutes, was agonizing. Finally, it got here, I put it in, and with the help of an awesome new friend who offered their help, I started copying my old SSD over to the new one. That's when I noticed: There were errors. Specifically, read-write errors. When I copied my windows partition, there were only 24... sounds pretty standard for windows, honestly. But when I copied my windows-linux shared partition.

So... I may have accidentally compromised the permission structure of my ENTIRE server box the other day. All of it. Oops. I was trying to add a new feature to my site - one I'm still dabbling with, and not having much success with, involving Jellyfin/seerr. In the process, I tried to mess with permissions, and accidentally changed some important bits on my entire user directory. To make matters worse, I escalated it and did the same procedure on... the root folder. Immediately, my ssh sessions began asking for a password and not letting me in. I looked up a solution to undo what I'd done, which recommended changing the bits on the ENTIRE system. I foolishly followed. This disabled the use of sudo completely (!!) and at this point I knew all I could do was completely reinstall from scratch. Thankfully, that process was fairly straightforward. I did run into a few issues, like Jellyfin not installing correctly on the latest dietpi install (I'm not the only one to run into this, apparent

Hi! Been a bit. A few things to go over this time, cause a lot has happened since I got my license: Got in contact with an old IRL friend! This one is pretty huge! A friend of mine I've known since childhood got in contact with me again. She's a trans girl just like me now, and she actually invited me over! And because I got my license, I got to drive there! It was lots of fun, and I'm planning to come back. We were both really happy to see each other. I've got a few thoughts though. Actually going to the apartment of someone who's living on minimum wage (and her two roommates in the same situation), it really grounded me a bit. Maybe the obvious money difference between us isn't as dehumanizing as I thought. They're still kind and fun people to be around. On the other hand though, I still feel like I've yet to be properly humbled by needing to work to live. Since then, with her, I've been a bit off and on. I like her a lot and want to get to know her better, but, frankly, I feel like

Woooo!! I actually got it! Just today! Oh gosh, I didn't think I was gonna get it - I was already preparing to be told I still didn't pass, I was preparing for the worst, but! When the sweet instructor lady told me I passed, I put my paws over my mouth and gasped! I really did it!! I got lucky getting such a kind and forgiving instructor compared to last time, I think. She was so friendly. I only got marked down for like two or three things - I wasn't watching for cross traffic in the calm neighborhood, and I didn't signal coming out of the parallel parking. But other than that? Oh my god I did it!! See for yourself! What am I going to do now? I dunno! First things first, I'll be able to go get fast food any time I want. I do have jury duty on this coming Wednesday. Originally the idea was for me to get my license and practice the route there before I go. But my mom has since insisted that she take me herself. I think I've already had enough excitement for one month, so I'm thinking of

I think things might finally be starting to improve. The main issue here being my difficulties with socializing and especially meeting new people. That's honestly my biggest concern right now, even bigger than driving because I've basically already got that in the bag. So, I'm seeing a therapist now. We've had two sessions, and while I don't think we've gotten to major coping skills or solutions yet, I have hope for this. But I'm also trying a little experiment. A friend invited me to their personal discord a while back, and I neglected to join for the longest time. I decided to finally take them up on that offer, for the sake of improvement. I did this once before - last year. Back then, it was a mistake. The person was untrustworthy, the group was extremely clique and unsafe for me mentally, and I was thrust far, far past my comfort zone. But this time is different. I had a look at the server. While its vibes may be a little strange and new to me so far, and I don't recognize most of

Recently I decided to try Rain World, which I'd previously seen my partner and some friends play and gush about. I was drawn in by the cute slugcats and the art style, especially the whole "abandoned world" aesthetic. You go through areas with lots of rust, pipes, broken machinery, stuff like that. I was also aware going in that this was an "exploration" kind of game, the kind that doesn't hold your hand and gives little instruction. I figured it wasn't going to be that bad. Here's how my first experience went, playing blind. Starting out, learning to hunt for food and hibernate was easy and intuitive. Surviving and fighting monsters is hard, but I can understand it. I enjoyed narrowly escaping a giant lizard and getting to the next shelter. My problem began with the Drainage System area. There's this area with a big pit, and a shelter on the other side. I, assuming I was making progress, jumped the pit and saved in the shelter - now I respawn there. I found that the adjacent room was

CW: Venting, irl, mentions of verbal harassment So, let's talk about driving. I live in a pretty tightly packed area. There's just rows and rows and rows of houses in any direction. You've got to go for quite a ways before you get to any stores or businesses. Generally, if you want to go anywhere, you need to be able to drive. Jogging and bicycling can only get you so far. There is no public transport here. You can't just take a tram to work or walk to the grocery store. You have no choice but to drive. Now, this is something that's been being hammered into my head since I was something like 16. I need to learn to drive. Everyone here does. I was pressured from early on during a very bad time in my life to learn to drive, and I just couldn't. I was completely overwhelmed and dropped it. I actually fell deep into physical disability, but that's a story for another time. By the time I could actually walk again, it was back. Mostly from my mom, mind you. And again - I won't be able to get

Hi again! Time for a pretty overdue update. A while back - actually about half a month to a month now - my mom introduced me to this weird stuff. A big tub full of... collagen? Powder? With distilled protein? I didn't trust it, I thought it sounded like snake oil. Well, I asked my friends, and they all said it was trustworthy, so I gave it a shot. After some trouble initially, I've been having it every day, and, wow! I really am getting a bit of a difference now. It may sound like such a minor thing to you, but - I have an eating disorder, and I have a very hard time taking in proteins. So this is actually pretty huge. I'm immediately noticing my wrist healing up and even my breasts getting fuller (HRT win!). I am probably gonna be on this for as long as possible. I guess this is my... first... time? Having significant amounts of protein? Technically? It's so foreign to me right now, but maybe I'll get used to it? Also - Lurasidone. You probably saw that in the title. My previous antip